Spider's should pay attention to the Sparrow

So you've come to the conclusion that your a Spider, or even more interestingly, a fly. Either way, you've thought about your role in a BDSM lifestyle long enough to consider it the proverbial parlor, which means you recognize that it's a lifestyle and not just the occasional kinkiness that most people can buy in a novelty gift shop. Since you've found your way here, I can only assume one of two things;

A) You are in over your head, feeling like your losing control, and you don't know where to turn.

B) Your playing it safe, and your seeking answers to the millions of questions in your head.

Either way, you feel like you need answers to questions that exist inside a social stigma, and these taboo questions rattle you to the core, because, well, who can you ask? Me, that's who. After fourteen years rooted in the BDSM lifestyle, I feel its safe to say I've learned a thing or two. Wisdom and insight that can be shared, without judgment, without bias, and without the social stigma. So lay it on me. I want to hear whats rattling around in your dark closets.