To Dive In, Or Swish The Water With Your Feet...

As you probably know, I am brand new to the scene and the lifestyle, I just recently got my first master and he has begun training me. Something that concerns me is, towards the end of each day I become so discouraged that I want to cry and give up. My question for you is, do you think that a rigorous training is better or a gradual introduction? I had a gradual intro in mind but Sir does not agree with me. Do I suffer through this? I dont want to give up on this lifestyle if all I'm experiencing is an unrealistic dom.

- Newly Emerging Sub

I've done it both ways. Most dominates prefer one way or the other, however I have had the benefit to experience both from the other side of the fence, seeing as how I was a submissive before a dominate. Both methods work fine, its like a pool; some people want to dip their feet in and get used to the water gradually, others feel its best to dive right in. The job of a dominate is to determine which is best for each individual submissive, which is extremely hard to do with long distance or online relationships, which is why I usually advise against them. This lifestyle is more about getting to know someone else than any other relationship format, even if you don't realize it.
The situation your going to run into here is that your dominate of choice doesn't really know you. I'm sure you've talked in great detail, but remember, that 95% of the way we communicate is unspoken body language, and you cant get that online, in a letter, an email, or even in voice chat or on the phone. If you want things to work, my best advice is to try and make him happy, and do as he wishes, but remember, communicate communicate communicate. Bare in mind the comforting factor that the distance between you offers you some security in the fact that if it's not working for you, you can simply walk away with little to no recourse, and find someone who does fit your needs.
You seem like a pretty intelligent person, and I'm sure that your desire to engage in this lifestyle is more then a passing curiosity, and as such, this will be like any other relationship for you. The first, never lasts, but it teaches you so much about the way of the world. I'm not saying that to shed doubt of second thoughts; by all means do it, ENJOY it, and relish the comfort that your young and allowed to make mistakes... you have the time and luxury to benefit from them.

Spider's should pay attention to the Sparrow

So you've come to the conclusion that your a Spider, or even more interestingly, a fly. Either way, you've thought about your role in a BDSM lifestyle long enough to consider it the proverbial parlor, which means you recognize that it's a lifestyle and not just the occasional kinkiness that most people can buy in a novelty gift shop. Since you've found your way here, I can only assume one of two things;

A) You are in over your head, feeling like your losing control, and you don't know where to turn.

B) Your playing it safe, and your seeking answers to the millions of questions in your head.

Either way, you feel like you need answers to questions that exist inside a social stigma, and these taboo questions rattle you to the core, because, well, who can you ask? Me, that's who. After fourteen years rooted in the BDSM lifestyle, I feel its safe to say I've learned a thing or two. Wisdom and insight that can be shared, without judgment, without bias, and without the social stigma. So lay it on me. I want to hear whats rattling around in your dark closets.