Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Issue of Multiple Subs

Over time Mistress has hinted and teased me about getting another sub(most likely female).
This is not serious and may never happen but it comes up often enough that I wanted to give it some serious thought.
First let me say I am not opposed to the idea, but I have some concerns, mostly about how me and the potential other sub would interact with each other. Do you find that if a relationship develops between subs it makes things harder for the Dom or easier? I can't imagine that a relation ship wouldn't develop given the nature of a submissive.
Sometimes I think subs should live together in a commune and have the Doms come and visit. any way I'm asking for your thoughts on the subject, knowing there are no hard and fast answers to this question.

That's a tough question to answer. Each sub is different, and each dom is different. All i can do is speak of my own experiences. Having multiple subs is a reward in and of itself as long as your subs are getting along. The moment they don't, there's drama, and then it falls on the shoulders of the dom to put the subs back in place and remind them that its not about them, its about their mutual desire to serve the dom. this gets even more difficult if a romantic relationship, complete with feelings and emotions develops,a s in such a case, they may decide that they have to compete with the dom for their emotional partners attention, and that gets messy.
The idea is to pair up sus in the same room, but pair up subs that while they will get along and become friends, will not develop romantic entanglements. such as, putting two males in the same room, when neither of them is gay or bisexual. they can become good friends as they get to know one another, but there's less risk of a romantic drama ticking like a time bomb. the issue here at that point is the competitive nature to vie for your attention, but thats another matter altogether.


Friday, December 11, 2009

What Can Be Done To Keep A long Distance D/s Relationship Alive.

I found my way to your blog and noticed that you offer advice, and since 14 years far dwarfs my humble time spent in the scene, I think you can help me with my problem. I've been in a 24/7 D/s relationship for about a year now, and it has gone rather well for that time, but lately I've run into some issues. We live about an hour apart, and with school/work schedules we only see each other for about 4 hours 3 times a week, which leads me to the problem. I see her so rarely that when I manage to, I tend to spoil her a bit, and it has caused her to feel less dominated than she did when our relationship began.
I've heard of Doms giving their subs rituals and responsibilities to do when they are away, but I have been unable to find a good source of ideas along those lines. My question is, what can I have her do while I am away to remind her she is my slave, and is there any advice you can provide on how I can keep myself from spoiling her too much when I see her?

Well, your issue is not all that uncommon. With the internet ever at the ready, D/s relationships with distance have become even more common, and even I have subs who do not live with me.
Most Doms provide theur subs with a mantra, a quote of devotion, that thewy must recite three times a day, at set times, regardless of place, or who is around. Many also assign tasks, or requests, that are to be completed on schedule. These tasks can be anything from simple mundane things, to bizarre task, but all are designed to reaffirm to the sub, who is their master.
Some of the things I've done are, in no particular order;

had a sub dye her hair and cut and style it a particular way

had a sub write me a letter every night detailing why they are such a sub, and mail it the following morning from a shipping office a cross town, she wasn't allowed to use her car, and had to include the receipt in the envelope.

put on a particular outfit, take a digital camera, and take photos of certain tasks being performed in various locations outlined by me.

Just be creative. Have fun with it. ask them to do something that completely boggles the mind, and give them no explanation. remember, your the dom in the D/s relationship, not the other way around.