The Issue of Multiple Subs

Over time Mistress has hinted and teased me about getting another sub(most likely female).
This is not serious and may never happen but it comes up often enough that I wanted to give it some serious thought.
First let me say I am not opposed to the idea, but I have some concerns, mostly about how me and the potential other sub would interact with each other. Do you find that if a relationship develops between subs it makes things harder for the Dom or easier? I can't imagine that a relation ship wouldn't develop given the nature of a submissive.
Sometimes I think subs should live together in a commune and have the Doms come and visit. any way I'm asking for your thoughts on the subject, knowing there are no hard and fast answers to this question.

That's a tough question to answer. Each sub is different, and each dom is different. All i can do is speak of my own experiences. Having multiple subs is a reward in and of itself as long as your subs are getting along. The moment they don't, there's drama, and then it falls on the shoulders of the dom to put the subs back in place and remind them that its not about them, its about their mutual desire to serve the dom. this gets even more difficult if a romantic relationship, complete with feelings and emotions develops,a s in such a case, they may decide that they have to compete with the dom for their emotional partners attention, and that gets messy.
The idea is to pair up sus in the same room, but pair up subs that while they will get along and become friends, will not develop romantic entanglements. such as, putting two males in the same room, when neither of them is gay or bisexual. they can become good friends as they get to know one another, but there's less risk of a romantic drama ticking like a time bomb. the issue here at that point is the competitive nature to vie for your attention, but thats another matter altogether.

What Can Be Done To Keep A long Distance D/s Relationship Alive.

I found my way to your blog and noticed that you offer advice, and since 14 years far dwarfs my humble time spent in the scene, I think you can help me with my problem. I've been in a 24/7 D/s relationship for about a year now, and it has gone rather well for that time, but lately I've run into some issues. We live about an hour apart, and with school/work schedules we only see each other for about 4 hours 3 times a week, which leads me to the problem. I see her so rarely that when I manage to, I tend to spoil her a bit, and it has caused her to feel less dominated than she did when our relationship began.
I've heard of Doms giving their subs rituals and responsibilities to do when they are away, but I have been unable to find a good source of ideas along those lines. My question is, what can I have her do while I am away to remind her she is my slave, and is there any advice you can provide on how I can keep myself from spoiling her too much when I see her?

Well, your issue is not all that uncommon. With the internet ever at the ready, D/s relationships with distance have become even more common, and even I have subs who do not live with me.
Most Doms provide theur subs with a mantra, a quote of devotion, that thewy must recite three times a day, at set times, regardless of place, or who is around. Many also assign tasks, or requests, that are to be completed on schedule. These tasks can be anything from simple mundane things, to bizarre task, but all are designed to reaffirm to the sub, who is their master.
Some of the things I've done are, in no particular order;

had a sub dye her hair and cut and style it a particular way

had a sub write me a letter every night detailing why they are such a sub, and mail it the following morning from a shipping office a cross town, she wasn't allowed to use her car, and had to include the receipt in the envelope.

put on a particular outfit, take a digital camera, and take photos of certain tasks being performed in various locations outlined by me.

Just be creative. Have fun with it. ask them to do something that completely boggles the mind, and give them no explanation. remember, your the dom in the D/s relationship, not the other way around.

Is it Age or merely Experience that cracks the whip?

On a forum in which I participate a discussion began about the commonplace acceptance of a dom being aged greater then the sub. It didn't take long for members to shift ever so slightly to state their attractions for older Doms, and how they could not willingly submit to a dominant in their own age category, or even worse, younger.
While I do understand this generalized train of thought, I had to point out how the common attractive nature to older members of the opposite sex is brought about by life experience. Typically, the younger is looking for a father figure or a mother figure, and this lead them to seek out attractive qualities in the age of the partners they share. However, if this is the case, then wouldn't the lessons of BDSM teach us not to judge a book by its cover?

We all agree that in BDSM, safety is the number one priority of any relationship or playful exchange, even amongst strangers... and with that, are people painstakingly confusing AGE with EXPERIENCE. What I mean is, would someone choose a Dominant who was new (within the last 2 years) to the scene, simply because they were twice their age, or would they feel more inclined to choose a Dominant within their own age category who had been prominent in the lifestyle and the scene for more then 10 years?
When you think about it, we generally want the best suited person, the one most capable for insuring our health and safety. When we see a surgeon, we want the one with years of experience, not the one fresh out of medical school. When we skydive we want the instructory who's a former Airborne Ranger not the guy who stayed at a Best Western last night. When we're talking about safety and health, why would a BDSM relationship be any different? Why would we choose the man with no whip control over the one skilled in the placement of the kiss of the lash. Why would we choose the one with no meter for self control over the one with years of knowing when its time to cool down? Why choose the one who can't read people over the one who can?

To Dive In, Or Swish The Water With Your Feet...

As you probably know, I am brand new to the scene and the lifestyle, I just recently got my first master and he has begun training me. Something that concerns me is, towards the end of each day I become so discouraged that I want to cry and give up. My question for you is, do you think that a rigorous training is better or a gradual introduction? I had a gradual intro in mind but Sir does not agree with me. Do I suffer through this? I dont want to give up on this lifestyle if all I'm experiencing is an unrealistic dom.

- Newly Emerging Sub

I've done it both ways. Most dominates prefer one way or the other, however I have had the benefit to experience both from the other side of the fence, seeing as how I was a submissive before a dominate. Both methods work fine, its like a pool; some people want to dip their feet in and get used to the water gradually, others feel its best to dive right in. The job of a dominate is to determine which is best for each individual submissive, which is extremely hard to do with long distance or online relationships, which is why I usually advise against them. This lifestyle is more about getting to know someone else than any other relationship format, even if you don't realize it.
The situation your going to run into here is that your dominate of choice doesn't really know you. I'm sure you've talked in great detail, but remember, that 95% of the way we communicate is unspoken body language, and you cant get that online, in a letter, an email, or even in voice chat or on the phone. If you want things to work, my best advice is to try and make him happy, and do as he wishes, but remember, communicate communicate communicate. Bare in mind the comforting factor that the distance between you offers you some security in the fact that if it's not working for you, you can simply walk away with little to no recourse, and find someone who does fit your needs.
You seem like a pretty intelligent person, and I'm sure that your desire to engage in this lifestyle is more then a passing curiosity, and as such, this will be like any other relationship for you. The first, never lasts, but it teaches you so much about the way of the world. I'm not saying that to shed doubt of second thoughts; by all means do it, ENJOY it, and relish the comfort that your young and allowed to make mistakes... you have the time and luxury to benefit from them.

Spider's should pay attention to the Sparrow

So you've come to the conclusion that your a Spider, or even more interestingly, a fly. Either way, you've thought about your role in a BDSM lifestyle long enough to consider it the proverbial parlor, which means you recognize that it's a lifestyle and not just the occasional kinkiness that most people can buy in a novelty gift shop. Since you've found your way here, I can only assume one of two things;

A) You are in over your head, feeling like your losing control, and you don't know where to turn.

B) Your playing it safe, and your seeking answers to the millions of questions in your head.

Either way, you feel like you need answers to questions that exist inside a social stigma, and these taboo questions rattle you to the core, because, well, who can you ask? Me, that's who. After fourteen years rooted in the BDSM lifestyle, I feel its safe to say I've learned a thing or two. Wisdom and insight that can be shared, without judgment, without bias, and without the social stigma. So lay it on me. I want to hear whats rattling around in your dark closets.